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The San Luis Valley of
southern Colorado is the largest alpine valley in the world. Covering an area the size of Massachusetts,
this flat, sandy valley floor receives less rainfall than the Sahara. There are
only 40,000 humans living here, making it one of the most isolated, quietest
and darkest places on the planet. And
you know what happens when things get quiet and dark. They also get strange.
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| UFO Watchtower |
San Luis has attracted
more UFO sightings than nearby Roswell, NM.
It’s well known for unexplained cattle mutilations. Many believe the little San Luis Valley town
of Crestone sits on a deposit of quartz crystals, making it a vortex to other
dimensions. There are 30 religious
shrines in Crestone, more per capita than any place on earth. And then there are the alligators, the sand
dunes, and of course, don’t forget legalized marijuana. All of which make the San Luis Valley a
little looney. And the people here like
it that way.
Here’s a quick tour to
some of the quirky must see stops in San Luis.
Great Sand Dunes National Park & Preserve
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| Great Sand Dunes |
On the eastern side of the
valley, at the base of the Sangre de Cristo Mountain Range, are 50- square-miles
of soft, curving, and dramatic wind-sculptured sand dunes. They are the highest inland sand dunes in
North America, rising to more than 750 feet.
Pink, cream, brown, tan or gold – depending on the angle of the sun –
they are shifting mountains of sand.
Each day, the winds go to
work on them. A strong wind can set the
whole 50 square mile dune surface moving, creating ripples, building the sand
into elegantly shaped crescents or adding onto the loose masses called climbing
dunes. But sooner or later, reverse
winds blow down from the mountains and the dunes are returned to near their
original shape. Scientists think they’ve
been here 440,000 years. Maybe. No one really knows for sure. But photos taken in 1927 show that the main
dunes have undergone very little change in the past 80 years.
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| Along the first ridge |
There are many activities
in the park, but everyone’s first choice is hiking the dunes. There are no trails here – they wouldn’t last
an afternoon – so visitors can go anywhere they want. But first, to get to the dunes you have to
cross shallow Medano Creek, which flows between the dunes and the Visitor Center. It’s best to just take off your shoes and
wade across the soft, water-cooled sand creek, but be sure to wear shoes into
the dunes. In mid-summer, the sand can
reach 140 degrees F.
Due to shadows, the dunes
appear deceptively steep. The pure
physics of the sand says that it can’t be piled at an angle steeper than 34
degrees. Seventy percent of the grains
of sand are .2 to .3 millimeters in diameter – the width of a human hair. Stacked any steeper than 34 degrees, and they
simply give way to gravity and cascade down.
But because of shadows, you’ll swear differently – especially as every
step you take up, you slide back down halfway.
Not to mention, the dunes are at 7,500 feet above sea level.
For decades, people have
been trying to slide down the dunes on snow skies, on homemade cardboard sleds
and aboard flying saucers made for snow.
Unfortunately, they don’t work.
But there are specially designed sand boards and sand sleds that do work
and are available outside the park at the Oasis store. The dunes can be dangerous. Blowing sand can be fatal to cameras, and can
sting exposed skin and eyes. And of
course, it’s a terrible place to be in a lightning storm, so observe caution.
The highest dune in North
America, Star Dune, is located opposite the Visitors Center and takes about six
hours to hike to and return. Most people
can easily make it to the top of the first ridge and back in two hours, and
that’s more than enough view to give you a good taste.
UFO WATCH TOWER
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| The UFO Watch Tower and Museum |
The dunes – or at least
the darkness, lack of light pollution and the quiet they bring to the area –
may have also attracted UFOs. Local
resident Judy Messoline thought so. She
built the world’s only UFO Watchtower in the town of Hooper, near the park’s
entrance.
It’s really
just a wood deck surrounded by strange UFO art.
There’s a “campground,” or at least a place to park overnight, for a
fee. There are lots of signs featuring
ET. A small museum details the history
of the strange number of astral sightings and cattle mutilations that have
taken place in the San Luis Valley, some dating back to the 1700s. In theory, the tower is as good a place to
park and look for UFOs as any. Judy claims that 88 UFOs have been sighted
from the tower since it went up in 2000.
Of course, her autobiography is titled, “The Crazy Lady Down the Road.”
COLORADO GATORS REPTILE PARK
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| An injured gator being given first aid |
Literally just down the
road in the town of Hooper are the biggest alligators in the West, along with a
collection of rattlesnakes, pythons, snapping turtles, and, oh, about 350,000
Tilapia fish. Welcome to the Colorado
Gators Reptile Park, one of the state’s craziest and most fun roadside
attractions. It started in 1974 when
Erwin and Lynne Young decided to use the valley’s geothermal waters (the water
stays at a constant 87 degrees) to farm Tilapia, a tasty perch fish that needs
warm waters. Fish in fish farms die
pretty regularly, and to deal with all the dead fish, they imported 100 baby
alligators in 1987.
Flash forward, and today,
the farm makes more money showing off the exotic animals than from selling
fish. Many people have donated alligator
pets that became too large, and the park has become
Where most places have
signs proclaiming how many months they have gone without an accident, at the
Colorado Gators, their safety record sign is measured in hours. Maintaining dozens and dozens of gators in no
easy task, and these gators are not pets.
Ask the staff to show you bite marks.
You’ll see the staff feeding
them, petting them (the gators snap back), holding open their jaws for
demonstrations – and at special events, wrestling them. This is one of the few places in the world
where you can take alligator wrestling class.
Two dollars buys you a
bucket of gator chow, or bring a fishing rod and you can catch and release
Tilapia and catfish (or buy them for $3 a pound). If you catch a carp, you get to feed it to a
gator.
WELCOME TO THE X-FILES
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| One of the larger ashrams of Crestone |
About 30 minutes up the
road is Crestone, a small town of 150 people at the base of the Sangre de
Cristo mountains that is very much like walking into an episode of the “X-Files.” Crestone has more ashrams,
stupas, Catholic retreats and spiritual centers per capita than any place in
the world. There are 30 of them here,
scattered in the mountains with spectacular views. Many locals believe that Crestone holds an
energy vortex and is perhaps a portal to other dimensions. At any rate, something strange is going on
here, as witnessed by the steady stream of pilgrims and religious retreats held
in the town.
You can learn about this,
and the artists who live in the area, at the Crestone Historical Museum and
Welcome Center. Coming in May 2016 is
Crestone Brewing Company, a restaurant and brewery that will make it well worth
driving 12 miles off the main highway to see this little artist community, and its
colorful ashrams.
IF YOU GO:
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| The boyhood home of Indiana Jones. |
This is just the start.
The San Luis Valley is also home to a fort once commanded by Kit Carson,
spectacular hiking trails, waterfalls, the hometown of prize fighter Jack
Demsey, and the Cumbres & Toltec Scenic Railroad, the highest and longest
steam train in North America. According
to movies, Indiana Jones grew up alongside this railroad, and you stay in the
B&B that now occupies the house used as Indy’s boyhood home in the
movies. Accommodations are most
plentiful in Alamosa and Monte Vista, but there are beautiful ranch
accommodations across the valley as well.
